Яаж & хэв загвар

We need to talk about...

This is one of the hardest videos I’ve ever had to do. I’m finally opening up about my worst fear… death. I talk about how I dealt with the loss of my little brother while applying a look inspired by that same fear.
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Visuals by Studio Gyor Moore: gyormoore
ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ I love you.

Сэтгэгдлүүд 

  1. NikkieTutorials

    NikkieTutorials

    Жилийн өмнө

    *I love you so much...*

    • Jasmine Crawford

      Jasmine Crawford

      24 өдрийн өмнө

      i am so scared of death too, nikkie

    • Sonia N

      Sonia N

      Сарын өмнө

      😘😘😘

    • Emma Walsh

      Emma Walsh

      Сарын өмнө

      Hi

    • Julia Juničić

      Julia Juničić

      3 сарын өмнө

      You should read The book thief

    • Nosaj Srevir

      Nosaj Srevir

      4 сарын өмнө

      💕💖❤

  2. Kimberly Kreitzer

    Kimberly Kreitzer

    16 цагийн өмнө

    This hits me soooo hard. I lost my oldest daughter. I feel her often especially this time of year cause she loved Halloween so much. She was a great artist also. Wish you were in ohio to talk to. Love you tho xoxo

  3. Tzara

    Tzara

    4 өдрийн өмнө

    My fear of death is mode. But the after doesn't seem like nothingness. The law of thermodynamics states that energy isn't created or destroyed, but transferred. It seems likely that we would return to oneness rather than nothingness.

  4. Danielle Urquia

    Danielle Urquia

    6 өдрийн өмнө

    When I think of my physical body dying I get so happy because I love God and I know I will be with Him for eternity 🙂

  5. Mostly Random

    Mostly Random

    6 өдрийн өмнө

    How did he die tho

  6. fabi the bean

    fabi the bean

    15 өдрийн өмнө

    this video helped me, wow. your an angel, a true life saver! I'm completely honest, I want to die. but I also really fear the death and I don't want to end it all yet. my life isn't fulfilled! I didn't see everything I wanted, I didn't experience true or.. at least lasting love. I wanna meet somebody who truly loves and accepts me. I need somebody to teach me how to love me. I'd even want to get into a psychiatric clinic or get any help, anything stopping me. I'm so anxious and it just gets worse and worse. so thank you soo much! you help me since weeks, I feel like I'm leaving soon and I'm scared but it's the best and only help I guess. anyway, just so thankful for you ♥ your words are so wise and so are you

  7. Kelly R

    Kelly R

    18 өдрийн өмнө

    I've always been afraid about death. Losing my fiance and my mom, it brought death to my front door. What happened. They were just gone, empty bodies. I hope there is something more. I'm more scared there isn't.

  8. Libby Mejia

    Libby Mejia

    25 өдрийн өмнө

    Wow!! I have no words. Your beautiful, And WORTH IT!! NEVER EVER THINK LESS. I Just started watching your channel. I knew who you were, but never really watched your channel! Omg. I'm going all the way back to your first ever video and start binge watching! 😍

  9. Eliess de Haas

    Eliess de Haas

    29 өдрийн өмнө

    ik voel hetzelfde, u ain't alone.

  10. Edessa France del Valle

    Edessa France del Valle

    Сарын өмнө

    Nikkie.i don't wanna scare you but Every thing that breathes.. or every LIVING THINGS shall taste death .You can't escape it. This world is temporary and no one knows what will happen tomorrow or next year. Don't be afraid of death. Accept it and do your best doing good deeds in this world. Love you nikkie.

  11. Kathryn Moffett

    Kathryn Moffett

    Сарын өмнө

    It's creepy but cool!

  12. A. O'Connell

    A. O'Connell

    Сарын өмнө

    cis women 🤝 trans women -> finding teenage boys absolutely terrifying

  13. Dasha Santiago

    Dasha Santiago

    Сарын өмнө

    This video describes how I think and feel everyday

  14. laurenkayel

    laurenkayel

    Сарын өмнө

    I dont know if youve ever seen the movie "waking life" but it always helps me understand death more when i watch it

  15. maya beau

    maya beau

    Сарын өмнө

    I’m watching this is 2020 wanting to go to the supermarket looking like this

  16. Rylee Stanley

    Rylee Stanley

    Сарын өмнө

    Helk helk

  17. Scarlet M

    Scarlet M

    Сарын өмнө

    Pennywise is quaking

  18. Doggo With Anxiety

    Doggo With Anxiety

    Сарын өмнө

    Death royally scares me too. I feel it on the same level. I'm scared of what happens after too. I've gotten panic attacks before thinking about it too much.

  19. Zette Capone

    Zette Capone

    2 сарын өмнө

    I’m more scared of. Or seeing them on the other side after not death itself

  20. Ben en Jerry

    Ben en Jerry

    2 сарын өмнө

    NIKKIE... I HAVE THE FRIKKING SAME WITH DEATH

  21. Rebecca Xox

    Rebecca Xox

    2 сарын өмнө

    Who’s here after the armed robbery ?

  22. Avary Bentley

    Avary Bentley

    2 сарын өмнө

    i am only 11 but i have been through so much my dad is a recovering drug addict and an alcoholic and I lost my uncle to suicide and i am also 5'4" and 155 lbs so i am bigger and taller and i thought that the thoughts that I was having where normal and I have always wanted to fit in like a lot of kids but after this, I realized that the thoughts that I was having are not normal so because of my past I have anxiety, recovering from an eating disorder, trust issues, and lots of other things but I stuffed all of my feelings in for 7+ years so I start going to a therapist in 2 months but if u have any advice about going to a therapist plz tell me

  23. tosty frog

    tosty frog

    2 сарын өмнө

    I'm sorry about Linda

  24. Gertrúd Hatházi Keresztes

    Gertrúd Hatházi Keresztes

    2 сарын өмнө

    I lost someone to suicide 3 years ago. I just found your channel and this video helped me so much. Thank you.

  25. Lindsey Sloan

    Lindsey Sloan

    2 сарын өмнө

    Energy does not die. Our energy has to go somewhere once our bodies die. Beautiful video.

  26. Meg Bannana

    Meg Bannana

    2 сарын өмнө

    I’ve never met someone at at least heard someone explain being afraid of death the same way that I am. Death is the most terrifying thing to me. And people say oh well everyone is and I’m like no. Not the way that I’m afraid of it. It’s honestly so comforting hearing someone else think the way I do about it. Because if I explain it to someone else I honestly think I sound crazy. Ya know they say well you can’t be afraid and you can’t think like that. I’m like dude yeah I know I don’t want to think like I do wonder like I do but that’s how I think about it.

  27. Nani__cos

    Nani__cos

    2 сарын өмнө

    I am scared of death too I don't wanna die..

  28. kim haddon

    kim haddon

    2 сарын өмнө

    YT again jacking up how I see videos.... As a person in the medical field, I have witnessed alot of final seconds of patients deaths who had these same thoughts, questions, etc. The VERY worse was my last hospice patient... Her lucid moments shifting to almost leaving and back and forth for 48 hours let me see into what she saw.. She was able to describe what she saw and not remember it during lucidity.. its hard to explain but "seeing" what she saw is a feeling I still deal with... I knew 2 of her family members that passed before her and her last words were to tell me Mack said its nice and sunny here in Savannah... he and I only knew what that meant... legit was forced to see our facility therapist after that specific death... and I can handle death fairly well... lost my 19 yr old brother June 2019 and buried him on my 18 yr old daughters 17th birthday... this year on her birthday she swore she saw Caleb where she worked... freaked her out

  29. Ann Christian

    Ann Christian

    2 сарын өмнө

    Hi all I'm a lil late, just subscribed a wk or two ago.. I am 41 yrs old and on july 21st, 2020 I had a heart attack and died had to be brought back and I remember saying guys somethings not right to the drs and nurses and my eyes roll back in my head and then blackness like was awake but blackness then awake saying "WHO THE FUCK JUST HOT ME IN MY FACE?", bc thats what the shock felt like, ever since then I've had a little trouble bc I think abt that I died and it causes me some anxiety, but I've also decided this is my 2nd chance at life to have the life that I want and am gonna have.. that's my experience later that night I dreamt of my dad who passed in 2014 I dream of him often and I always remember what's said btw us and this Tim's I cant remember and that boggles me.. it's very strange..

  30. Alice Goldstein

    Alice Goldstein

    2 сарын өмнө

    I know this was a deep and sweet video but... who else thought of “Teenagers” by MCR when Nikkie was talking about her bullies... no one? Ok I’ll leave 😂

  31. Tai Payne

    Tai Payne

    2 сарын өмнө

    The music at the end made me emotional.......

  32. Byron Perez

    Byron Perez

    2 сарын өмнө

    I love You honey

  33. denki kaminari

    denki kaminari

    3 сарын өмнө

    I know death is spooky and it’s inevitable, but I wanna see what happens when I throw myself down the stairs

  34. Magentakisses38

    Magentakisses38

    3 сарын өмнө

    When Nikki thought her look was going to be scary, but it came out glammy, scary, chic!

  35. Maranda Masury

    Maranda Masury

    3 сарын өмнө

    You put my own views towards death into words, wow. Literally always felt I was different for being so scared and anxiety ridden about the concept of death and what it really is.

  36. butlermomma101

    butlermomma101

    3 сарын өмнө

    Im a little late watching this video 😂 but seriously death can be an uncomfortable thing for people to talk about. It is something all of us will have to deal with eventually. I have birth to a stillborn baby girl 4 years ago. It was a very traumatic experience. I was 8 months pregnant with her. As time has gone on it has gotten easier to talk about it. I truly believe we all have souls and that when my time comes, i will see her again and hold her. 🖤

  37. Bethany Norris

    Bethany Norris

    3 сарын өмнө

    Watching this is literally like having Nikki in my head she’s saying exactly what happens to me at night I have panic attacks about being nothing but it also gives me relief she feels it too because everyone seems to go around not worrying about what happens when you die

  38. Sarah Splain

    Sarah Splain

    3 сарын өмнө

    I have the same feelings/thoughts about death. It terrifies me because we really just can't know what actually happens when we die..

  39. Ethentent

    Ethentent

    3 сарын өмнө

    I'm scared of being in pain and of feeling my body fail on me. I'm also afraid of the impact my death would have on my loved ones.

  40. SaRaH LyNn

    SaRaH LyNn

    3 сарын өмнө

    my friends worry abt me bc i joke abt death alot. i use humor as a coping mechanism. i have had so many , so so many panic attacks over it.

  41. Sophie Kitty

    Sophie Kitty

    3 сарын өмнө

    I came here after watching your recent video. Since I was very young I've had a great fear of death, its very frightening. I lost my Mom last year, losing someone you love so much is very hard. Thank you for doing this video and talking about you fear ❤️

  42. Glenn McCreary

    Glenn McCreary

    3 сарын өмнө

    Since late 2018 I've kind of felt surrounded by death. I lost my grandma and my oldest sister within 2 months of each other. Then in 2019 my mom almost died, her heart stopped and she had to be brought back by CPR, and then my niece had a baby and he got really sick when he was a month old and had bleeding in his brain and we didn't know if he would make it. And my 2 best friends also lost their dads to cancer while everything was going on with my family. I've always been scared of loved ones dying and I often wonder what happens to us after death. After everything I really do feel like anyone at any time can die and then I'll be left alone. I still don't think I've moved on after losing my sister and my grandma.

  43. Cici Woods

    Cici Woods

    3 сарын өмнө

    As someone who has been suicidal, I totally relate to this, but I'm also religious and believe in an afterlife. I know religion isn't a "solution" nor should any random stranger on the internet try and force it on another lol, but for me it has helped me love myself while focusing on self improvement. It's also eliminated the whole looming cloud of "you will never be as good as you should be in the amount of time you exist on Earth so your existence is meaningless" that hung over me for a long time. I know suggesting this to the lgbtq+ community is taboo, but as someone who is bisexual myself, I can assure you that if learning about the afterlife (however you decide you believe in it) through religion is possible and positive even when you don't match the heteronormative stereotypes religion tends to promote. Just my thoughts in case this was still a fear for you.

  44. L & A

    L & A

    3 сарын өмнө

    In Islam, death is the transition from life in this world to a truer eternal life in the next world.

  45. Nibedita Bachhar

    Nibedita Bachhar

    3 сарын өмнө

    When I think of death or dark side I get totally lost and after I come back I get so scared because I think that I can't go anywhere alone.

  46. Eve Barch

    Eve Barch

    4 сарын өмнө

    I think about it a lot, I am Christian so I believe that we all go to either Heaven or Hell, but I always wonder what happens to get to either of those places. Do you immediately go to the place your destined to? Or do you get sorted into that place? I have also always wondered what Hell and Heaven look like. Is Hell a large red city full of sin, or is it pure agony for all eternity? Do you walk on clouds in Heaven along with the other Angels, or do you have your own Heaven? So many questions, and no answers.

    • L & A

      L & A

      3 сарын өмнө

      in islam we have answers to all those questions

  47. Tina Del Rio

    Tina Del Rio

    4 сарын өмнө

    Yes please would to know more about you. Omg!! I have many times tried to tell those close to me about how I felt about death. No one has ever understood. When you said not quote you feared death yet are fascinated with life and at night thinking about death...would get close to panic attack...I cried.. This is only my 5th video of yours I’ve seen! 🤘❤️🙏

  48. Noor Ail

    Noor Ail

    4 сарын өмнө

    It is following you from Iraq, I want a simple request to translate your videos to the Arab

  49. Alana Bonnifet

    Alana Bonnifet

    4 сарын өмнө

    Watching this in June 2020 but I totally feel the same way about death! Definitely close to panic attacks when I'm thinking to much about it!!

  50. Emilie Rasmussen

    Emilie Rasmussen

    4 сарын өмнө

    I feel just like you Nikkie. I'm scared every night I'm going to sleep lest I wake up again or my loved ones don't.😓

  51. Yasmine Elzanati

    Yasmine Elzanati

    4 сарын өмнө

    Thank you so much Nikki, I didn’t jump of the bridge today I love you 😓❤️

  52. Katie Mauer

    Katie Mauer

    4 сарын өмнө

    I know this was 7 months ago but you are so spot on with how I feel of I think about death. I have panic attacks and it gets worse at night

  53. katllyn R.

    katllyn R.

    4 сарын өмнө

    I'm more scared of pain than death, beacause I know and understand that at some point we all will die. But for pain, even though I know it will go away I also know that some part of that pain is going to stay with you forever. And if you feel or remember that part again, it's like all the pain that you felt will come back.

  54. Lily

    Lily

    5 сарын өмнө

    The contacts make the look that much more spooky!!!!

  55. Big Al

    Big Al

    5 сарын өмнө

    I have one lung and lung cancer. I love you and look forward to meeting on new footing. Look for me. Not sure how it works, but whoever is first is obligated to say Hey to the other. We shall be fast friends and you will love my best bud that left me early.

  56. wumbos

    wumbos

    5 сарын өмнө

    There will be these times where suddenly I'll realize that one day I'll be dead and the weight of that thought is so crushing I feel like I'm actually going to pass out. I get tunnel vision and my legs get so weak. It's so weird. I'm terrified of dying.

  57. szonja kiss

    szonja kiss

    5 сарын өмнө

    I loved this video. I especially relate because my worst fear is also death, like honestly I'm not that afraid of anything really, but death... it scares me to death. And it's so rare to find people who can truly relate, because it's not like what it is for most people, and it's not even neccesarily just the unknown of what comes after, but even going through every possibility of what could become of me I hate all of the options and that is what scares me. I don't want to become nothing, as Nikki said, but I also don't want to be reincarnated into a different life or be in heaven for the rest of eternity. And I love this video, because it's comforting when someone can actually relate to what I feel and even talking about how we need to find a way to be okay with it is way more helpful and comforting than when anyone I know speaks about it, because they just don't understand and say there's no point in worrying as if I didn't already know that.

  58. G Y

    G Y

    5 сарын өмнө

    I'm a 29 y o gay man and by no means someone can tell I'm gay by my appearance and mannerisms. i used to get bullied by the "tough guys" and the popular girls and to this day if i come across that type of teenage boys or girls on the street or anything i feel very uncomfortable and i avoid eye contact. I completely understand Nikkie. Now i might become a teacher in highschool so I guess I'm gonna have to face it and be done with it.

  59. Ramona. Wiii

    Ramona. Wiii

    5 сарын өмнө

    Watching this after her her Cremated palette review. This palette would have been PERFECT for this look. The colors, the names, everything

  60. Ali Trash

    Ali Trash

    5 сарын өмнө

    I’ve recently come to realize that a lot of people share this fear and for a long time I thought I was the only one. It’s so comforting to know that others are as terrified of it as I am

  61. Tasnia Haque

    Tasnia Haque

    5 сарын өмнө

    "Worst fear... Death" Voldemort, is that you?

  62. Tamia Knight

    Tamia Knight

    5 сарын өмнө

    I'm so scared of death but I've planned my suicide so many times. The only reason why I'm alive still is because of my fear (I'm better now :) )

  63. Paulina Vaidelytė

    Paulina Vaidelytė

    5 сарын өмнө

    Ltrl i cried whole video

  64. Rina .s

    Rina .s

    5 сарын өмнө

    You won’t be as scared of death if you respond to Jesus’ yearn to have a relationship with you. Jesus loves you and I love you.

  65. Oceanvee

    Oceanvee

    5 сарын өмнө

    I love Nikkie because we have similar childhoods. We are both insecure because of the same things, and its so sad that she had to go through this. I love you so much Nikkie.

  66. Vanilla Macaroons

    Vanilla Macaroons

    5 сарын өмнө

    I was made fun of too. I was (still am) overweight and I didn’t like it one bit because of the things they said. I grew up very insecure. I wanted to be like the others, I wanted to not care, but I couldn’t. I thought no one could like me, and it was a weird stage. I talked to my dad one day about that, and he said that he started worrying a bit. Years later I investigated and knew what anxiety was. I was thinking that I needed to check if I had it with a psychologist, and yes. I had it. Now I knew that it wasn’t normal, so I calmed down a bit. I didn’t wanted to be like that my whole life. Then, I went with two psychologists until I found the one that I was comfortable with the most. I got out of it. I no longer have anxiety. I was really happy the day she told me and my dad was too. I now don’t care about what people say. Don’t let them define you. We are strong and can go through this. Love you Nikkie! You are so inspiring and thanks for being honest with us ❤️❤️❤️

  67. Carmen Gainey

    Carmen Gainey

    5 сарын өмнө

    Same babygirl same... “Nothingness is worse”

  68. Elizabeth Marie

    Elizabeth Marie

    5 сарын өмнө

    I have panic constantly around death and self diagnosed with ptsd from losing my older brother last year. I constantly have to check to see if my son or husband are breathing at night. If someone sleeps in I panic.

  69. Elizabeth Barrett

    Elizabeth Barrett

    5 сарын өмнө

    I dont think i have the mental stability to listen to the whole talk about death. Im so easily brought into deep thinking and i end up going deeper and deeper into a topic to the point i break down over fear of those things... So idk how i feel abt watching this. Edit: its an important topic and she has the right to talk about it but in my life i cant think of this rn.

  70. Natalie Natalie

    Natalie Natalie

    5 сарын өмнө

    You are so talented!!! Love you!💖

  71. cupcakepaleis beemsterboer

    cupcakepaleis beemsterboer

    5 сарын өмнө

    Hoi nikky Je bent de beste maar heb 1 vraag wil je weer eens een Vidio maakt in het Nederlands

  72. Aristana Hinz

    Aristana Hinz

    5 сарын өмнө

    I know I’m really late and you might not agree with me but, if you need help ever, just pray that the thought of death will come easier. Again no one has to agree with me but I am a Christian and I’m just trying to encourage and help others live a better life. You are amazing Nikkie and I hope death could come easier to you. Heaven is out there just pray. ❤️you

  73. Aristana Hinz

    Aristana Hinz

    5 сарын өмнө

    Anyone else here in May during quarantine

  74. Theaa Derocles

    Theaa Derocles

    5 сарын өмнө

    I began to follow your channel a little while ago and thank you so much for this video.. I had to face death since my childhood, with my grandparents, uncles, aunts, friends, natural death or dicease or suicide every time it happens, it feels like a nightmare... 20 days before, you upload this video, a friend of mine, took away her life, I wish I had seen it at this time. I wanted to thank you, cause I feel exactly the same about death and I feel much better and less alone to see you struggling with the same questions. Thank you for being you, and I send you a lot of love from France ♥️

  75. Marissa Sowers

    Marissa Sowers

    5 сарын өмнө

    I wish I could sit down with u and have a serious conversation about Christianity... there IS hope and life after death.

  76. Marlène Zoet

    Marlène Zoet

    5 сарын өмнө

    You've got a lot of courage for this and we're all very proud of you ❤️

  77. Snow Star

    Snow Star

    5 сарын өмнө

    When she was talking about getting lost in your thoughts, thats me

  78. Bri Williams

    Bri Williams

    5 сарын өмнө

    I was 6 years old and I had the absolute worst panic attack over dying. I was watching a tv show of someone who died and I thought so much into it I couldn’t calm myself down until my mum convinced my grandma to drive 2 hours to our house because all I wanted was my grandma at that point

  79. Romy Dath

    Romy Dath

    5 сарын өмнө

    Hi, just wanted to let you know that I feel exactly the same and I’ve been in a similar place as you. I was depressed and considering suicide as a way out but I was so afraid of death that I could never go farther than the thought. And this fear has been helpful (because now I’m in a good place and enjoying life as I can) and blocking because I diminished my illness thinking « you’re not depressed, depressed people want to suicide and you never could » (I was not very educated about these things). I still struggle with anxiety and panic attacks about death so everything you say in this video is a bit triggering but it really helps to know I’m not alone, to feel understood. And i never talk about that fear because I’m so afraid to trigger someone’s fear or like buzzing their mood, I still struggle speaking about it with my therapist. So thank you for this. You’re a very unique, talented, beautiful and interesting person ! Love u

  80. Savannah Jackson

    Savannah Jackson

    6 сарын өмнө

    I have the same fear. Every time I think about it I start shaking, crying, and having a full blown panic attack🥺😬

  81. theghostinurhouse

    theghostinurhouse

    6 сарын өмнө

    You should make a pallete inspired by halloweek

  82. FraSnap

    FraSnap

    6 сарын өмнө

    You should work more on yourself. I mean of self spiritual not physical. Your thoughts are really superficial, when you awake (if) you realize that It’s no sense to afraid of the death. Everyone will gonna die... SURPRISE. Ps. No hate & I Love your work! ❤️

  83. Lutho Ludwaba

    Lutho Ludwaba

    6 сарын өмнө

    Damn I cried.

  84. Annika Tercero

    Annika Tercero

    6 сарын өмнө

    It is so interesting that I started watching this on Wednesday and the next day my grandma passed away.

  85. Enby Alex

    Enby Alex

    6 сарын өмнө

    Many times I've contemplated committing suicide and I have thought people won't care that I'm gone but then I stop and think, my best friend has attempted suicide a few times before and the amount of sleepless nights I've spent worrying that she won't be there when I wake up in the morning scares me and it really makes me think that it does affect the people around you and that's one of the things that keeps me going along with the fact that I know it's going to get better and if I give up now I will never get better and the people close to me will never remember me as happy confident person and their main memory will be that I was depressed and suicidal. I'm sorry that was long and a bit of a rant and some of it might not have made sense I just needed to release some emotion.

  86. mrs jeon

    mrs jeon

    6 сарын өмнө

    this is one of the reasons that religion and death are connected. realizing that depending on what you believe, it’s all comes full circle

  87. Estee Steinmetz

    Estee Steinmetz

    6 сарын өмнө

    omggg van nederlandd cool

  88. Beard in a skirt

    Beard in a skirt

    6 сарын өмнө

    What helps me cope with death is that i want to donate my organs after i die, so part of me would still be alive and The feeling of giving someone some more time after i die soothes me :)

  89. Aurora 95

    Aurora 95

    7 сарын өмнө

    i feel u Nikkie i feel u joking is my coping mechanism too

  90. Elena Ashett

    Elena Ashett

    7 сарын өмнө

    Awe I love you! I know this was so long ago already that you posted this video. But listening to you talk about death I think has really helped a bunch of people on here. Death is really really scary, but the way I think of death when I feel like I need to cope, death is not a thing, but a person. For example, the people we have lost in life are death because they have died, but they will be the ones who greet us on the other side. Now I'm not religious, and I have no idea if this is true obviously. But it's comforting and I feel like there must be more then just nothingness 💕💕

  91. Kim Breit

    Kim Breit

    7 сарын өмнө

    5:29 - 7:00min exactly how I see myself. How I feel 🥺😔 except for the thing that I actually tried more than one to end it all

  92. macias9

    macias9

    7 сарын өмнө

    I never feared death because for some reason I took for granted that there is an afterlife, that souls live somewhere and that everyone I knew would be there with me, and for a few years now I am literally frightened of death because I literally have no idea what comes after life, I mean I might die and thats it, no thoughts, no loved ones, I just disappear and thats it. That scares me so much...

  93. Karen Prendergast

    Karen Prendergast

    7 сарын өмнө

    For the headphone users does anyone else hear breathing?!?!

  94. Katy Crisler

    Katy Crisler

    7 сарын өмнө

    I already loved you but this video just made you seem even more human and more reachable and Nikkie...we love you. You choose to grow instead of fall when you reach a challenge and I just think you are so...inspiring. Stay glam

  95. Yvonne Cash

    Yvonne Cash

    7 сарын өмнө

    My belief is that we are all energy and that energy never totally dies. It’s why we can communicate with the ones who have passed over from this world to another. That “world” is different for everyone.

  96. Lonny Bunny

    Lonny Bunny

    7 сарын өмнө

    I know this is super late, but I would really recommend looking into Claire Wineland's videos. She was a teenager with a terminal illness; she made videos about her experience with death and how she came to terms with it. It is so comforting to listen to, and of course, puts things in a new perspective. I don't think you'll ever see this, but I think she would really help you, Nikkie. We love you.

  97. Lonny Bunny

    Lonny Bunny

    7 сарын өмнө

    I know this is super late, but I would really recommend looking into Claire Wineland's videos. She was a teenager with a terminal illness; she made videos about her experience with death and how she came to terms with it. It is so comforting to listen to, and of course, puts things in a new perspective. I don't think you'll ever see this, but I think she would really help you, Nikkie. We love you.

  98. Lorren Luke

    Lorren Luke

    7 сарын өмнө

    I am totally recreating this asap. I love it and i I totally agree with you. Makeup is the most therapeutic thing i have in my life.

  99. Karen Mickelson

    Karen Mickelson

    7 сарын өмнө

    Raised in the church. I Was raised with full knowledge of life after death. Which there is. That is why you feel the presence of your brother. No it's not silly or crazy ,it's real. I used to struggle with severe anxiety over my fear of death because of also getting lost in my thoughts. I don't anymore. I know now where my soul will go; Heaven. There I will "live" for eternity. I am praying you will find peace within yourself. Love ya bunches

  100. Nyte Shayde

    Nyte Shayde

    7 сарын өмнө

    I don't hear an accent. You sound American / Canadian.

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